Night time. The room was dark. But not more darker than what his heart had become. He was sitting down in the corner of his room, with his head lying on his folded hands which layed on his knees. He was drenched in sweat as he laid without switching on any air-conditioning. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, but compared to the tears that rolled of from his eyes, it was still less.

Everything stood still for him. Both time and his room. The curtains besides him stayed still as the windows were locked. The only thing ticking was the wall clock on the wall above him. His heart wasn’t really ticking as it had now given up. Given up on the hope that love can be found again. On the hope that there are people in the world who would keep what they say and not do something they shouldn’t.

He had no intention of living further. Ending life was his only option out of this misery. His mind was just numb. No good memory he could revive onto. But the courage to take that final step was where he lacked. Strong will to die layed empty against his fear for the same. “Would I have a smooth death, or will it pain in any sense?” Thoughts just crowded his mind. Pain or no pain it’d all be the same for him he thought, as any pain further wouldn’t have been any worse what he was currently going.

Just then his mother calls him from downstairs, “Son, dinner’s ready”. His stomach was already making all weird sounds signalling him that he should eat something. But with absolutely no will to digest and an upset stomach made him tell his mom, with all the eyes-wiping and making the voice as clear as possible, “I’m a little unwell mom, I think I’ll go off to bed directly. Dont want dinner”. Ofcourse he didn’t want to let anyone know about his this state.

His phone kept ringing. She tried reaching to him just to check if he’s alright. But he didn’t answer to any. Kept the phone on silent so as to not hear any further ringings and vibrations. He laid there on the floor with his hand using as a pillow for the head to rest, he shut his eyes, wishing everything was just nothing more than a nightmare for him. Tired and exasperated, he fell asleep then and there.

34 thoughts on “Murk

  1. I am so glad you kept the protagonist sane till the end and he did not commit suicide.
    Ah, the pain is so well described in this. I can feel every bit of it. I can imagine him sitting in the corner and crying. It was like a scene playing in front of my eyes.
    You’ve made it appear more realistic by adding his mom calling him for dinner, and he trying his best to hide he was crying and acts normal.

    Wow Shaun, good work again!
    It’s amazing!
    And yes I learnt a new word “Murk” today.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I couldn’t. I envisioned it all before writing, and couldn’t write it to death. So had to leave it sober.

    Heheh yeah! I’m in the same process of leaning too

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The thoughts of depression put so well in mere simple words. Awesome write up. I’m glad he slept. Sometimes just that miss on time is all that is needed ..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m free, just not ready.

    I feel I am not a calling person and when anyone asks me for call, I simply distance myself. I think this is what happened with you too honestly.


  5. You don’t have to be sorry about it.
    It’s just how I am.

    Infact I thought I’d rather tell you about it, otherwise it seems I’ve ghosted you. I missed you so got here.


  6. I did feel like you ghosted after you left telegram abruptly and then in few months time even email. I’d mail you occasionally as and so i got time to, but since my last mail which was over a month ago wherein i got no reply, i almost got convinced that you ghosted. I know i could always find you here, and i haven’t deleted WP from my phone yet, but this year has been too hectic with a lot many ups and downs and I just couldn’t get enough time to ping you here. Btw, i missed you a lot too! I know I’ve to mention that been ‘the guy’ but I’m just bad at it, yet, not gonna lie..I missed you !


  7. You stopped following you here because the last time we spoke you told me that you are going to stop writing here on WordPress. Today when I came here I realised that you did not stop writing, I still wrote.


  8. Well, a lot did happened. Ofcourse not all good, but but not all bad either. A little preoccupied at the moment to tell you all in detail, and I’m so excited too to tell you, but it’s just not the right time. I just want to let you know that yes, it’s been a roller coaster. And I can’t wait to get free to tell you about it.


  9. I’m so so sorry I did not even see this, I turned off my wordpress.

    But thank you so very much for remembering me. Happy belated friendship day to you too.


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