mind-FULL

Anymore, no one’s mind is their own

– Chuck Palahniuk

Well, this wasn’t never the case with the typical aunts and uncles I had back then, whose nose was probably longer than pinoccio. And living right under their noses has made me quite an expert in terms of how to deal with them, ofcourse primarily starting with not giving 2 sh*ts about it, followed by respectfully slamming their points onto them as stupid questions and pin pointing out everything they do soo innocently that now they have to worry how they should present and keep themselves when they are around me. This is so much fun.

These thoughts are now successfully under control and in no way hampering my mind. But what about the noise that runs inside my head. How to deal with it. As Chuck Palahniuk rightfully said above, concentrating on anything is now a big challenge. Thinking, which was just another subconscious task back then is now taking most of my efforts in getting an idea, to do anything is so difficult now. I feel old already. Not that I’m even anywhere closer to that age, rather I’m just getting closer to the legal drinking age now and this is how my mind is responding. Scary.

My mind is sure occupied, but it’s not how I want it to be. I like being occupied myself, as thats how you’re not used to sitting idle and do nothing. Being productive is different. But this is far from that different. My mind worries about things I wouldn’t consciously think about, it goes around people whom I dont know why I’d think of them in the first place and at the end of the journey it always takes me to a food place. I’ve gained a lot of weight because of it, ugh.

So much, so more. So nothing, yet so full. The exact definition of what goes inside my mind. There’s so much more than the unneeded stuff, filling all the void with the void, so much garbage inside that there’s no space left for what really should be there, and hence there’s nothing worth praising about too.