I solemnly swear that I’m upto no good,.. oh wait. I mean my intentions were pure, but i was naive, and my situation, well you can read it for yourself!

‘Cheap Thrills’ playing in my car when I’m waiting for the signal to turn Green. A female begger comes begging near my car window.
Me: No, I’m not going to.
My car stereo: “I ain’t got cash”
Me: yeah, that’s right.
My car stereo: “But I got you baby”
Me: noooooooo

I usually entertain wrong numbers when I’m too bored. This one blew the crap out of me.
Caller: Hi, am I speaking to a Mr. XyZ
Me: umm, yes you are.
Caller: before proceeding, I wanted to clarify a few things..(she confirmed my identity, address and telephone number, and by confirmed I meant she said spoke those and I legit just said yes without asking me to speak and confirm the same)
After that …
Caller: Ok, so now that I’ve confirmed I wanted to inform you that you’re summoned tomorrow in the court for not paying the dues.
Me: Holy ****! Ma’am, I’m sorry but it’s not me the one you’re seeking. This is a wrong number you…
Caller: try this trick tomorrow in the court.
And she hangs up…

I’m often so proud (for no reason) of having a very uncommon name. But recently in Starbucks, I placed my order and gave them my name. And I wasn’t aware someone before me waiting for his order had placed the exact same order and guess what, we shared the same name too!
Barista: 1 Hazelnut mocha frappe with a dash of chocolate for Shaunak.
Me and my name twin at the counter, raising our hand to grab the cup.
Me: I guess this is mine.
Shaunak: I guess this is mine.
Me: Are you Shaunak? (Making a weird face)
Shaunak: yeah bruh. The cup states too..oh wait. That’s not my spelling. I’ve an ‘O’ in it.
Me: well, that makes this order as mine
Just then the Barista outta nowhere to me
Barista: sorry sir, but this order is his.
Barista to him
Barista: sorry sir for the spelling error. Have a nice day.
Shaunak: Thanks. You too!
Me: (in my mind) what the hell just happened.

I often experience in my dreams the exact situation happening around me at the very instance. Like yesterday morning when Mom came to wake me up not knowing I had a holiday.
Mom: it’s past your waking time. Get up and get to classes.
Me talking in my dreams: I don’t have classes mom, lemme sleep.
Mom: its being 5 minutes since I’m waking you up. Get up!
Me taking in my dreams: but I don’t have class today. Its a holiday. For the sake of God, let me sleep!
Me being unresponsive in reality for 15 minutes now, my mom pours water over me and I enter reality, in terrible frenzy.
Me: (yelling) I told you already, it’s a holiday! Why you had to do this..
Mom: you didn’t utter any word here, plus it was getting late.
Me: (wondering if all this while I was talking to her in my dreams) I’m soo done with you, mind (starts crying internally)

PS: well, I won’t agree that these did happen, but I ain’t gonna deny either. Laugh all you want. Such is life (*cries in a corner)

17 thoughts on “Some Jibberish

  1. Haha, this was hillarious πŸ˜‚
    The lady caller got you this time haa!
    And that Starbucks oneπŸ˜…

    I wonder how your mom must have thought about what’s wrong with her son πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Then you know the troubles lf morning blues!
    I’m soo glad that I’m not the only one who’s crazy like that!


  3. My plans do backfire at times!
    Starbucks, hahah yeah!
    And my mom, she’s lost all hopes she had with me🀣

    Sometimes I wonder what if I actually experience any of them!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hehehh. Same pinch. I read my mom all the comments here as I feel so relieved now knowing I’m not the only one with this morning sickness πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

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