I solemnly swear that I’m upto no good,.. oh wait. I mean my intentions were pure, but i was naive, and my situation, well you can read it for yourself!
‘Cheap Thrills’ playing in my car when I’m waiting for the signal to turn Green. A female begger comes begging near my car window.
Me: No, I’m not going to.
My car stereo: “I ain’t got cash”
Me: yeah, that’s right.
My car stereo: “But I got you baby”
I usually entertain wrong numbers when I’m too bored. This one blew the crap out of me.
Caller: Hi, am I speaking to a Mr. XyZ
Me: umm, yes you are.
Caller: before proceeding, I wanted to clarify a few things..(she confirmed my identity, address and telephone number, and by confirmed I meant she said spoke those and I legit just said yes without asking me to speak and confirm the same)
After that …
Caller: Ok, so now that I’ve confirmed I wanted to inform you that you’re summoned tomorrow in the court for not paying the dues.
Me: Holy ****! Ma’am, I’m sorry but it’s not me the one you’re seeking. This is a wrong number you…
Caller: try this trick tomorrow in the court.
And she hangs up…
I’m often so proud (for no reason) of having a very uncommon name. But recently in Starbucks, I placed my order and gave them my name. And I wasn’t aware someone before me waiting for his order had placed the exact same order and guess what, we shared the same name too!
Barista: 1 Hazelnut mocha frappe with a dash of chocolate for Shaunak.
Me and my name twin at the counter, raising our hand to grab the cup.
Me: I guess this is mine.
Shaunak: I guess this is mine.
Me: Are you Shaunak? (Making a weird face)
Shaunak: yeah bruh. The cup states too..oh wait. That’s not my spelling. I’ve an ‘O’ in it.
Me: well, that makes this order as mine
Just then the Barista outta nowhere to me
Barista: sorry sir, but this order is his.
Barista to him
Barista: sorry sir for the spelling error. Have a nice day.
Shaunak: Thanks. You too!
Me: (in my mind) what the hell just happened.
I often experience in my dreams the exact situation happening around me at the very instance. Like yesterday morning when Mom came to wake me up not knowing I had a holiday.
Mom: it’s past your waking time. Get up and get to classes.
Me talking in my dreams: I don’t have classes mom, lemme sleep.
Mom: its being 5 minutes since I’m waking you up. Get up!
Me taking in my dreams: but I don’t have class today. Its a holiday. For the sake of God, let me sleep!
Me being unresponsive in reality for 15 minutes now, my mom pours water over me and I enter reality, in terrible frenzy.
Me: (yelling) I told you already, it’s a holiday! Why you had to do this..
Mom: you didn’t utter any word here, plus it was getting late.
Me: (wondering if all this while I was talking to her in my dreams) I’m soo done with you, mind (starts crying internally)
PS: well, I won’t agree that these did happen, but I ain’t gonna deny either. Laugh all you want. Such is life (*cries in a corner)