Murk

Night time. The room was dark. But not more darker than what his heart had become. He was sitting down in the corner of his room, with his head lying on his folded hands which layed on his knees. He was drenched in sweat as he laid without switching on any air-conditioning. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, but compared to the tears that rolled of from his eyes, it was still less.

Everything stood still for him. Both time and his room. The curtains besides him stayed still as the windows were locked. The only thing ticking was the wall clock on the wall above him. His heart wasn’t really ticking as it had now given up. Given up on the hope that love can be found again. On the hope that there are people in the world who would keep what they say and not do something they shouldn’t.

He had no intention of living further. Ending life was his only option out of this misery. His mind was just numb. No good memory he could revive onto. But the courage to take that final step was where he lacked. Strong will to die layed empty against his fear for the same. “Would I have a smooth death, or will it pain in any sense?” Thoughts just crowded his mind. Pain or no pain it’d all be the same for him he thought, as any pain further wouldn’t have been any worse what he was currently going.

Just then his mother calls him from downstairs, “Son, dinner’s ready”. His stomach was already making all weird sounds signalling him that he should eat something. But with absolutely no will to digest and an upset stomach made him tell his mom, with all the eyes-wiping and making the voice as clear as possible, “I’m a little unwell mom, I think I’ll go off to bed directly. Dont want dinner”. Ofcourse he didn’t want to let anyone know about his this state.

His phone kept ringing. She tried reaching to him just to check if he’s alright. But he didn’t answer to any. Kept the phone on silent so as to not hear any further ringings and vibrations. He laid there on the floor with his hand using as a pillow for the head to rest, he shut his eyes, wishing everything was just nothing more than a nightmare for him. Tired and exasperated, he fell asleep then and there.